Recipes for Living Frank & Dianne Riley

Dianne begins: I was born February 3, 1945, in Forest City, Iowa. My parents were farmers and I grew up on the farm that had been in Dad's family before hin. I was an only child, but was not spoiled, and Frank interjected, "Well, not any more," to which Diane added, "Not any more, not any less." Probably the reason that I was the only child was that my mother had 11 brothers and sisters, and she took a lot of the care of them; consequently there was just one Dianne. A difference that made in my life was that learned to entertain myself. Living in the country, there was no one to play with and our family didn't go many places.

I went to a one-room country school through 4th grade. There were 12-15 students, ranging from 1st through 8th grade. There were three people in my class, two boys and myself; and we would race to the front to see who would sit in the middle, in front of teacher. We had several different teachers but I don't really remember any of their names. I do remember the great times we had, playing all kinds of games. Sometimes we would play outside all day long. I remember particularly that the boys would crawl up on top of the outhouses and string tin cans so that they could talk to one another on their "phones". We had all kinds of programs where the whole families would come and we would recite for them.

Recitation was emphasized. We memorized long poems in school, and that was carried over into the Lutheran tradition in which I grew up. My parents didn't go to church all that often but they saw to it that I was there. We took confirmation classes for two years and memorized creeds and other aspects of our faith. Then our parents could ask us questions that we were to respond to with prescribed answers. It was scary, and, probably, if I had a choice, I would not have done it. But that was expected of us and we didn't really have an option. Now I regard it as a good practice and think it is regrettable that it is no longer being emphasized. I wonder how many children these days are able to recite any of the creeds, or even the Lord's Prayer.

Our rural school closed at the same time as many others so, beginning with 5th grade, I went to town school. The facilities weren't adequate for taking in that many children. The school was so overcrowded that my classes for both 5th and 6th grades were in a store front. Forest City was in the process of building a new high school and I was in the first class to graduate from that facility.

Governor Branstad went to the same school and talks about the history teacher, Laura Sewick, whom I remember as having two different color eyes--one purple. That was probably not true but appeared so because she wore a lot of purple. She was the greatest history teacher! She was able to take the subject that not all students like, and make it come alive. It might be interesting to trace how many state programs and laws instituted by Governor Branstad were influenced by the teaching of Miss Sewick, or, for that matter, where our influence has had an effect.

I went to Waldorf College for two years and then to the University of Iowa for two years, earning a B.A. degree in social work. From the time I was a little girl I had wanted to be a social worker, probably because of a lady in Forest City who was always doing kind things for people. I wanted to be just like her.

I graduated from college in 1967, and moved to Atlantic, Iowa, to become what was then called a child welfare worker in the County Welfare Office. This is now the Social or Human Services Office. I made home visits and many of my clients were single parents with children, who often had to be placed in foster homes. I worked with a probation officer, "Cap", and found foster homes for a number of children.

The Deputy Probation Officer was killed in the fall of 1968, and Cap encouraged me to seek that position. The problem was that I was only 23 years old. This was a court-appointed position and required that the applicant be 25. Cap knew all the judges and he said, "Before you give up, let me talk to my friend, 'Beanie' Cullison, and see if he can do something for you." He interviewed me and I got the job on a trial basis. I continued to work with Cap in the four counties around Atlantic, handling cases of juveniles who were going through the court system on charges of shop-lifting or stealing cars and/or running away from home. We had none of the stuff that folks have to deal with today.

It was not unusual for me to get a call at night and have to find a place for some young person at once. Of all that I placed, I remember particularly a woman of Indian background who had ten children and we had to place all ten. She had given the youngest and oldest names beginning with 'T' and ones between began with "N'. When the name or the youngest began with 'T', she was signifying that would be the last. There was no way she could take care of them and she loved them enough to allow people who could, to provide for them. The oldest was 15 when I became involved, and the rest were in stair-steps down. We placed them all in six foster homes.

I've had doors slammed in my face more than once, particularly because I worked, also, in child neglect and abuse situations. I would get calls when, in someone else's eyes, parents were not adequately taking care of their children. An example would be a child running around outside naked. Abuse laws were a bit different than now, but if we had a call about such a situation, we would go to talk to the ones involved and try to determine if there was some pattern. The criteria was if the child's life was in danger; i.e., if what had been called "abuse" was life threatening.

In those days it was pretty well agreed that a swat on the behind wasn't going to hurt anybody. It was simply letting the child know who was in charge. We had to determine whether the child's life was really in danger or; if a parent was simply trying to guide the child. My parents never once spanked me but they never had to. Dad would look at me and that was worse than being spanked.

My parents taught a lot by example. My dad was very kind and patient, which had its drawbacks, as we discovered in 1996, when we went to take care of matters after his death. He had always given his last dollar if someone needed it. We would warn him that he would never get it back, but it didn't matter to him. Because we were right in so many cases, he ended up with lots of things he had taken in trade. We were amazed, at the sale of his farm equipment, how many people would assume it was all right to walk off with something. Their explanation was that they felt they had a right to it because he would have given it to them if he knew they wanted or needed it. There were other cases when they would take something saying they wanted a souvenir of Dad. Now, the flip side of his personality was that if he did get angry, watch out! And I am much like my dad.

My parents also gave me opportunities in order to learn. One of the ways this has helped me a lot was in decision-making, which I am teaching as part of a class in Child Care Administration. One of the most important things in life is the ability to make a decision, swift and certain, in order to have credibility as a leader. I remember Dad's saying, "Dianne, make up your mind right now. If you are wrong, it won't make a great difference, and next time you will know if there was a better idea; but use your best wisdom at the moment and go with it."

I am sure that is part of what makes me an organized person. I don't have to spend a lot of energy on considering all the possibilities. I have had to deal with situations when the truth was unpleasant, but I have discovered that, if you are honest, people will respect what you say because they know you are telling the truth. When it becomes necessary for me to bawl somebody out, they still respect me. When we talk about it, I tell them they ought to feel good about it because I am bawling them out for what they did, not for who they are.

I hadn't been in Atlantic long when I went to a meeting of a singles group. Frank Riley, who was teaching at Anita, was also there. I saw him walk into the room and thought, "He's the one." He didn't know that at the time-he may be finding it out for the first time right now. But we had it made! Being of Norwegian and Swedish background, I loved to cook and he loved to eat. I can attest to the saying that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. He had another single friend who also liked to eat so occasionally Don would come along, but we never went back to the singles group.

This is where Frank picks up the story: I was born in Lebanon, Oregon on December 13, 1943, and except for the right timing, I might not have made it into this world.

My parents were both from northern Missouri, with farm backgrounds. It was probably about 1941, when they were encouraged by friends from the area where they had been raised, to move to Oregon. My only two brothers had been born in Lebanon, Missouri.

As had been true of their friends, Dad found employment in the logging industry. He drove a log truck. In March, 1943, Dad was killed on a foggy morning in a truck/train accident. Mom and my two brothers boarded a train and headed back to Missouri for the funeral. That is when she discovered she was pregnant with me. She went back to Oregon to settle up affairs and I was born there before she moved back to Hopkins, Missouri, where I was raised. I became the third generation Frank.

Mother remarried about 1945-46. At that point we had a step-dad and were very lucky because we couldn't have asked for anyone better. He originally had a trucking business, which he later sold because of health reasons, and began operating what might be thought of as a forerunner of Casey's stores. He had that for awhile, sold it and built a grocery store. We boys worked quite a bit at the "Casey's" store. At night we ran the gas station, and worked all day on Sundays. In the summer time, I was the banker, loading up my bike and taking the money to the bank. I learned a lot from that experience and met a lot of interesting people.

Our dad was a hard worker and expected us to do the same. He taught us the value of labor. My brothers and I were probably spanked a time or two until we learned where the line was. We knew when there was a job to be done; it probably had better be done. We were very fortunate because we also knew that if we ever needed anything, there was never any question about it being supplied. We had two parents to go home to and there was always food on the table.

That latter part was important because we all had hearty appetites. Leftovers were never a problem at our house. We still talk about and chuckle about one lunch time (that we called dinner), when Mom had fixed "hash'', that was probably what most people would think of as goulash. That was one of our favorite meals and, just about the time we went to eat, the phone rang. Mom kept talking, we kept eating and, when she was through, there wasn't a scrap of food left for her to eat.

I consider myself pretty lucky, also, because I was raised in a small town and attended the same school all 12 years, so I had pretty much the same classmates all the way through. We are still very good friends. My brothers and I participated in athletics and were in school plays. Our parents were always very supportive. My step-dad was always up at 5:00 to start the day but he would be at all the events that were part of our lives.

School was always a fun experience and I enjoyed going. We were consolidated with Pickering, Missouri, during my junior year in high school. Ed Swaney, who is in the same school system with me now, went to that same school. I liked all my teachers. Our family lived on an acreage, which made the Ag classes taught by Harold Finnel very helpful. One I had for English classes was Helen Harvey. She was excellent, a task master, and we soon learned that everything went according to clock-work in her class. She expected a lot but was friendly, too. We tried to do our best for her and I learned a lot. I'm sure she influenced the way I teach.

After graduating from high school, I attended Maryville, Northwest Missouri State University, where my older brother was already enrolled. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I went for the first year, and my grades were O.K., but I didn't really care for college. My brother and I decided to take off. We still had some family in Oregon and that was where we headed. We got a job at a food cannery. It was in a farming area that produced green beans, corn, other vegetables and fruit that were canned. We worked long hours and Saturdays. These were good jobs for college students; however, it wasn't long before I knew that I didn't want to work in a cannery the rest of my life and I'd better get back to school. It was definitely a learning experience.

I returned to Maryville for three more years, majoring in math. I did my student teaching in Bedford, Iowa, where I worked with an excellent teacher. In March I finished and, not having any more college classes, returned home. I soon got a call from the superintendent in the Troy, Kansas school system. He had gotten my name from the Maryville placement office. The math teacher had been called to active duty in the National Guard. I finished the year in Troy where I met lots of interesting people.

Then I got a call from the superintendent at Anita who had also gotten my name from the placement office. I drove there and got the job. Did I feel lucky! I was making $5,100 and was rich! This was in 1966 and I bought a 1966 Mustang, my pride and joy!

Anita had a population 1200 and a good school system with good students. I enjoyed my 2 1/2 years there and made some good friends. That was where Dianne and I met. However, I was called into the service and left to enlist in the Navy mid-year, 1968. I was sent to Pensacola, Florida, and again met lots of really good people. One thing about me, I probably am not an outgoing person but I've always been lucky enough to make lots of really good friends.

In August, 1969, I came home for a weekend between duty assignments. My brother met my plane and we headed for Forest City. Dianne and I got married on a Saturday, August 31st, and expected to fly out of Mason City Sunday. That airport was fogged in, but as we walked into the terminal, there was my mother and her sister. They were our salvation because they took us to Des Moines and I made it back in time. Dianne remembers the difference between then and now because I had worn my full Navy uniform complete with sword. She carried the sword onto the plane and no one said a word.

We were stationed at Brunswick, Georgia, and lived on Jekyll Island. This had once been a wealthy area, playground for Rockefellers, and the houses were mansions. At that time, they were kind of run down, but we've heard that they are to be restored.

Other fellows who had been in officers' training with me were also there. We lived in a duplex with the Bill Heckmans. He was later killed in a plane accident. She and Dianne came to be good friends. They had each other to talk to and confide in. They did ceramics and all kinds of things together. It was great and we still keep in touch.

In 1970, the Navy was going to cut back on junior officers. I was going to get out in January! I contacted my folks and asked them to send a copy of the Des Moines Register. I discovered there was a position open for a math teacher in Leon, Iowa. I made a long distance call to the superintendent, Russell Baker. I first asked about the job situation and learned that the present teacher was pregnant and wanted to quit. He asked for a recommendation and a personal interview. I explained to him that I was calling from Brunswick, Georgia, and there was no way I could accomplish that. I gave him names of those I had taught for and, as we hung up, he was very non-committal. However, he called me back a few days later saying that he had never before hired someone over the phone but I had the job!

Dianne and I made some hasty arrangements. I was discharged on Thursday. We loaded up the Mustang and drove to Iowa, leaving the warm south for Iowa's winter. It was pretty scary but we were lucky again. When we met the superintendent, we discovered that he had made arrangements for us. Working with Laurel Hullinger, who had a real estate business in Leon, he had found us a furnished house! All we needed was our clothes. We moved in Sunday and I went to the school on Monday morning. I met the principal, K.K. Bartlett, who basically just handed me a piece of chalk and said, "Go to it."

Laurel told Dianne of an opening with the Head Start program. Dianne told, "They gave me an old Falcon and $200 a month. I took the job gladly and have been with Head Start ever since."

We found Leon to be one of the friendliest places we have ever been. People stopped us on street, introduced themselves, and said, "I don't believe I know you." We made a lot of good friends there. However, whenever we had occasion to drive to Des Moines, we passed through Osceola and noticed a new school building under construction. It was quite a contrast to the old one in which I was teaching.

When I noticed an ad for a math teacher in Clarke, I contacted the superintendent, Dr. Russell Ward, and set up an interview. He required that the spouse be present, also. The position would be the replacement for Miss Beaver, who was retiring after many years of teaching in Osceola's school system. Word does get around. The next day after the interview, Mr. Baker said, “I understand you interviewed for job in Osceola."

If we hadn't left Leon that year, we would probably never have left. The school was similar in size or maybe a little larger than the one in Anita, and we enjoyed the community very much. However, one of the attractions of Osceola was that they were going on the merit pay plan. I always felt that if you did a better job, you should be paid more. It is one of those matters that is not as simple as it sounds. Who is to say one teacher is doing better than another? By what standards of merit? The plan never actually materialized.

I did get the job but in the meantime had started to graduate school at Kirksville, Missouri, to work on my Master's degree. We lived in Kirksville the first summer, and then came to look for living quarters in Osceola. We met with George Buesch who told us there was nothing to rent, but then he said, "I have a rental house on Grant Street that I would sell you for $6,000." That might not seem like much now but it was a gigantic sum then. We couldn't imagine that we would be ever be able to pay for a house. Our "worldly possessions" consisted of our Mustang and a deep freeze that Dad thought we should have. However, our parents had given us something much more valuable-a strong work ethic, integrity, and belief in ourselves and we decided to buy the house.

Dianne continues: That was the year Matthew was born, on October 8. He was supposed to be Geoffrey and, when I told my mother, she had a fit. She considered that a terrible name and always said it as though she could hardly pronounce it. I had been reading names and, when I read “Matthew" to Frank, he liked it so it was going to be Matthew or Elizabeth. Dr. Kimball delivered him here, in Clarke County Hospital.

While we lived on Grant Street, we started going to the Osceola United Methodist Church. We had attended the Loving Chapel United Methodist while at Leon. The Lutheran church I had been brought up in was American Lutheran and there were none in this area. Frank had Methodist ties so we went there.

Rev. John McCallum was the pastor in Osceola and at that time, each fall, there was a dinner for newcomers. One of the features of our going was that our hosts were Melvin and Alverda Goeldner. By that time we had traded our Mustang for a bigger, more conservative car, but when the Goeldners came to pick us up, here they were in a sporty Mustang! We could barely see Melvin's head over the steering wheel! By the end of the evening we were very good friends and remained so ever after.

We brought over an experience from the church in Leon - our enjoyment of a couples' Sunday school class. There we had the class in the parsonage, had coffee and great discussions about various topics that were on our minds. When we mentioned this to Rev. McCallum, he encouraged us to start one in the same pattern and worked with us to develop a potential list of members. There was no room available so we started meeting in the kitchen, had coffee and took turns bringing food and leading the lesson.

It is interesting that probably only one couple - Bill and Sandye Kelso-are native to Osceola. People have moved into and out of town and few have come from a United Methodist background. We began being the "Young Couples" class. When Steve and Carmen Moore were here, she thought we should go to the basement rather than meeting in the kitchen. We drug our heels. How would we continue to have coffee and snacks? But it has worked out. When it became apparent that "Young Couples" didn't quite fit us, John Cline suggested TLC, saying that it could stand for anything; and so this has become our title.

This class has been "family" for all of us. The majority of us don't have blood relatives near by and the class fills that gap. We have watched one anothers' babies be born and grow up. We have shared one another’s' losses, joys and hurts. If anybody needs anything, the class members are there to help. We are so lucky to have that class!

Frank picks up again: From the house on Grant Street, we moved to a larger one, the Huebner house, two houses east of Melvin and Alverda. We became more closely acquainted and Melvin got me started attending Clarke County Conservation meetings. When Melvin went off the Board, I agreed to take his place and have been on the Board for 20 years.

It was while we lived there that I’ve also became acquainted with Merle Schalk. We adopted her and she adopted us. At that time Matt was less than a year old. He ate berries off her bushes; when Kristen was old enough, she bought her groceries. We remained friends until her death, a year ago.

We lived there until we bought a house Ron Ogan had moved to a location on South Ridge Road. It was on four acres of land and the whole family loved the house and living there.

Diane remembers: I became pregnant again and didn't know there would be twins until Dr. Kimball decided to take an x-ray. He came back from reading it to say, "What are you going to call them?" He showed me the x-ray and the babies looked like two little peanuts. My reaction was to begin bawling. I went to school and told Frank, who was so happy. Butch Mason's roomwas directly across the hall and he couldn't figure out what had happened that there was Dianne bawling her eyes out and Frank was in the hall, being happy. it wasn't long before the entire school knew. Matt's reaction was similar to mine, "We don't need two babies."

We went to Leon and borrowed another bed and began trying to decide on names. Frank has always had a problem remembering names, so I wrote possibilities on paper for him. The names of Kory and Kristen were our choice. When the time came, Dr. Kimball delivered and Dr. Kimball held my hand, while the twins were brought into the world - Kristen at 6.7 pounds and Kory, 6.14. Of course, we realized immediately how lucky we were!

It is interesting how the past ties in with the present. All those years ago when Frank was leaving Anita, he was cleaning house and was about to throw out all the school papers he had accumulated, not expecting to use them again. It was John Burke who advised him to save them. John later became godfather to Kory.

In the early 1980's, Frank's teaching responsibilities expanded to include computer classes. Clarke Community started with two Apple computers for the entire district. He taught a beginning class, in the meantime taking lot of classes himself. Now, of course, Kindergartners are introduced to computers. Due to lot of hard work by many different teachers and the administrative staff in applying for grants, Clarke has been fortunate to get the Dekko grant along with state money designated for technology. In the next few years Clarke Community will be well supplied in order for students to be kept abreast of the latest technology.

In 1978, when Kory and Kristen were almost three and Matt was just about six, Frank was hospitalized for seven weeks with hepatitis. The prognosis was not good. The doctor said that he would never get over it and I was faced with the possibility of being a single parent. I didn't think I could do it. However, they brought in a doctor from Iowa City who told Frank, "Just get up and get going. Start eating and you'll be O.K." His first question was, "Can I go back to school?" and the doctor answered, "Sure you'll be O.K." Frank went home on Friday and the next week began coaching junior high wrestling. Rod Gall was assistant coach and was also coaching junior high football.

Frank remembers in the fall of 1979, something was going on at school that I was depressed about. I came home one evening and we discussed alternatives. We decided that we could farm. We began looking for land and in March of that year we bought 240 acres, with the intention of my teaching three or four more years and then I'd quit.

It happened that was almost the high point of the farm land cycle and, when the "three or four more years" had passed, we were in the farm depression and I had to keep on teaching. We thought for awhile that we might have to let the farm go. We had bought it from Kenneth and Ruby Johnson and at this point I decided to talk to Kenneth about renegotiating the contract. We talked all that year, looking for other places to live, including 224 West Cass in Osceola. One Sunday Kenneth called and said, "I think I'll just take the farm back" I jumped in the pickup and convinced him that he should renegotiate and we would keep the farm. I'm glad we stayed. We will soon have been there 20 years.

Matt has been unsure of what he wants to do, much like his dad had been. He has gone to several colleges, worked, done lots of different things, but now is attending Northwest Missouri State and will graduate in May with a degree in computer science.

Kory graduated in December, 1997, from that same school with a teaching certificate for high school math. He is currently working at Principle in Des Moines, doing mathematical calculations. He will be married in June to a girl who is also a twin, Dana Horkey from Granville, Iowa. Kristen graduated from Simpson in May, 1997, and is presently employed in research associated at Pioneer Hybrid in Johnston, Iowa. She is in bio-chemistry and does protein analysis on corn.

From Dianne's point of view: I have been in the Head Start program every since I began in 1970, when we were living in Leon and in1972 became Head Start director for a five-county area. I am still in that position.

Head Start is a war-on-poverty program that began in 1965, geared for primarily low income, three- to four-year-old children. It is different from other pre-school programs in that it includes the family. They are all gaining, not only from learning about such things as nutrition, physical and dental health; but we work with parents helping them establish goals and move toward self-sufficiency. It is a model pre school.

The single most important reason that it has continued more than 30 years is because it values parents and their opinions. It allows them to help make decisions about the program. Public schools could take some lesson in this regard.

Along with being Head Start director, I serve on the State Child Development Coordinating Council, which is made up 60 professional people who oversee funding for the pre school program in Iowa. This is part of Governor Branstad's Building Blocks plan in which he is trying to put more money in early education for children. I have also had the opportunity to go on several peer-reviews with other Head start programs. That is the way provided for monitoring the programs every three years.

So, at this time, our home is again just the two of is and it is good. People have said that we would hate it when the children were gone, but it's all right. This is the way it is supposed to be.